Today was super rough.
Pack 5 kids into a minivan at 5 am and then spend 5 hours at a children’s hospital kind of rough.
Looking for answers to questions like:
What’s causing these things?
What can we do to help our child?
Will it always be this hard with/for them?
I feel like I have more questions than answers after today. I feel like I have more problems than solutions. And. I. Am. So. Tired. I feel overwhelmed. This is not a new feeling for me as a foster, adoptive, and just plain mom. I have found in my life the only real cure for overwhelm is more overwhelm. What I mean is to be so overwhelmed and consumed by God, who he is and what he has done for me that my circumstances, though still uncomfortable are in perspective.
Here are the scriptures I am reminding my heart this very evening (while I am isolating and enjoying comfort food, because though I firmly believe Jesus is the only answer I feel like he would maybe sit on my kitchen floor and eat tillamook icecream laced with salt from my tears, with me)
“Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy. Let me dwell in your tent forever! Let me take refuge under the shelter of your wings! Selah”
Psalms 61:1-4
“I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.”
Psalms 121:1-2
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.”
Proverbs 3:5-7
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”
James 1:5
“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
Romans 8:26-28
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.”
Jeremiah 29:11-13
“Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you. “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.”
Luke 12:31-32
I am still super duper tired but I am reminded that he isn’t surprised by this, he is going to use this for good! He has good plans for my little buddy bear. I don’t need to have things figured out I need to seek Jesus and he will straight up take care of the rest. I don’t even need to know what, or how to ask I just need to come to him and trust that he’s got us. So tonight his joy is going to be my strength.
joyful mother of children 